On a positive note, my son’s birthday is coming soon.
I always plan a big birthday for my favourite person.
Every year we pick a theme that coincides with his current interests to plan around. In order, the themes we’ve had are: Hot Air Balloons, Paw Patrol, Cars, Incredibles 2, Calvin and Hobbs, Scooby Doo, and Nancy Drew. Which brings us to this year: Minecraft.
It seems like this whole last year has been just one giant blur of Minecraft. Pretty much on a daily basis from the moment I wake up all I hear is the constant onslaught of “Mom, guess what happened on Minecraft?” or “Mom do want to know every single thing about the new mod?” or “Do you want to hear about ender portals?”.
Among the million other Minecraft-y questions I get to listen too.
Suffice to say, it was an easy choice picking this year’s birthday theme.
It is also crazy to think that I have been someone’s mom for eight whole years. He went from a tiny baby to a sassy little boy in practically the blink of an eye.
We’ve been through so much in these short eight years. We’ve always had this saying between us: It’s you and me.
Thinking back to the early days of that first year with him. I was so weak from the effects of my disability during pregnancy that I couldn’t even hold him by myself. I’d have to be propped up with pillows under my limp arms and even then, supervised. And I’d whisper that saying to his sweet little face to help me feel close to him.
I felt like I was missing so much of being a mom. Thankfully, my mom and my (then) husband worked tirelessly to find creative ways to include me in my son’s care. Despite my body failing me at every turn, I still got to love and cherish my little baby.
As he got into his toddler years, I had slowly begun to get better. Daily physiotherapy, and an intense longing to be with my baby had kept my spirits up and kept me going. I was finally changing, feeding, and cuddling my boy without help. I was finally able to embrace being a mom, and I’d hold him close and tell him It’s you and me.
His fourth birthday was when my marriage fell apart. A party I wont ever forget. Having to host everyone and act like everything was fine. Trying desperately to keep a smile on my face and hold it together until after I’d tucked him in to bed. That relationship had been having problems on and off already for a little while before, but the party was the catalyst. There were plenty of days were I’d have to defuse situations. I’d bring my boy to his room quietly play with him, and I’d stroke his head and tell him it’s you and me.
That next year and a half of learning to be a single parent was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I was so depressed I wanted to lay in bed all day and fade into the background. He was the reason I got up every day and learned how to get "back on my feet."
He brought all the joy in my life, and him needing me gave me the push to keep our lives from falling apart.
It’s always been him and me. My precious little boy and his sass. His love of Minecraft, and loopholes, and magic. He is the best part of my life, he’s what keeps me strong, and he adds so much love to my every day.
I am so thankful to be his mother. And I m so excited to celebrate eight years of him next month at his birthday party.